okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
