Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
