I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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