Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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