Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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