it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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