I bet he comes in French.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
how does that bad decision feel?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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