someone get that fucking seahorse.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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