you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
