Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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