OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
be right there i have to get my cape
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
