No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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