1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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