his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
