They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
