I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
be right there i have to get my cape
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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