I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
