where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
