If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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