Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
