Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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