There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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