Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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