I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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