Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
