I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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