I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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