kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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