Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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