he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
