Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize