the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
handjob tips. give me some.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
