Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
