Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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