I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm sobbing to NWA
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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