This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
