respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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