I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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