I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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