Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
