Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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