do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
