I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Less talking, more tequila
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I have already put on my inside pants.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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