I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
My butt remains clenched, sir.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
