ya dads aren't the best wingmen
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
