the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize