Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
nutella sex= disaster
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
