i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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