Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
50% drunk capacity currently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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