I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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