he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
