uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
