Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
