all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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