I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
There r osticjed everywhere
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
