I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
