Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
