I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize
