i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
